The Worst Possible News

I am still in a state of shock, believe it or not. It has been over two months since I found out something truly shocking about my husband (more shocking than a simple affair) and my mind tries to shut it off. We were together for fifteen years, happily (or so I thought) which is one hell of a long time.

My name is Janette and I met my husband Dirk at a singles’ bar. It seemed like a good place to go, since I had been single for three years and did not know why. I am reasonably attractive. I take care of myself and have never drank or smoked to excess. I am intelligent and witty and fun. Dirk was a gentleman and asked me out. I accepted and the rest was history, as they say.

Nine weeks and four days ago (not that I am counting) my world changed. It was turned on its head. I had been to see a clairvoyant (in secret – Dirk thinks the lot of them are con artists) and she told me that she was positively sure Dirk was having an affair. I laughed out loud. It was preposterous. There was no way he could do something like that. The rest of my reading worried me. The woman I see for a reading every few weeks got every other detail of my life spot on. She told me about my children, about my job (in great detail), about little things she could not possibly know. So how could she be wrong about this?

It played on my mind to such a degree that I paid a visit to The Spy Shop. I bought some text forwarding software for my husband’s phone. He was frequently tapping away into the keypad “to his mother” he claimed. I took that as the truth and never questioned him. The software was simple to install and meant that any texts would be forwarded to me. I did not have to wait long.

He sent a text saying something like “come over, the coast is clear” to a number I did not recognize, while I was at work. I said I had a headache (I really did by then) and came home. I parked a little way up the street and walked to the house. I let myself in silently. I crept up the stairs. The bedroom door was closed. I pushed it open slowly. This haunts me and is painful to say but I want to say it. I have to keep saying it to believe it. My husband was in bed and not alone. He was with another man. I ran to the bathroom and threw up again and again. How can you be with a man for so many years and have no idea that he is gay? We have three kids for god’s sake! Needless to say, he left, his tail between his legs, and I am fairly sure he is with his new partner. My world has changed beyond all recognition but I still have my pride and my looks. I will find another man, preferably one who is straight! My shock is still very much with me and it will take a long time to get over this but it is always better to know the truth, isn’t it? I visited my friend the clairvoyant again and she assures me that I will meet my soulmate soon. They do say what does not kill us makes us stronger. I learned the hard way.